“You do not always need to conceptualize, interpret or label everything that comes into your awareness.”

I heard that in a podcast recently and I don’t remember what I was listening to or who said it and I can’t guarantee it’s a direct quote of what was said, but it’s what I jotted down in my notes. And I’ve looked at it from time to time and it resonated with me then and still does. Especially on days my logical, planning, make sense of it all brain kicks into full gear. And when I realize the truth in that statement, it makes me come back to acceptance. Damnit!

Radical acceptance is about accepting life on life’s terms and not resisting what you cannot change. Radical acceptance is about saying yes to life, just as it is. (Linehan, 1993)

But what about all the things that I just don’t like or that are super inconvenient (for me!) or that are just plain uncomfortable? Those too? Yep, the key to acceptance is that you accept it all - the good, bad and sometimes ugly.

This is what I have found to be the most truly helpful though. When I accept things as they are in this moment, it frees me up to change them, if in fact they could be different in the future. It also helps me manage the things outside of my control, because honestly on most days my potential for impact lays pretty close to home. So when I focus on those things close to me, the things that I can see, hear, touch and speak to, then I suddenly feel more empowered to simultaneously accept that right now things may not be as I want them to be, but one small change can help move things to be more as I would like them to be. Not perfectly, not completely, but in some way that changes things. Small change can be significant change.

Accepting the present moment and at the exact same time accepting the future definitely has it challenges. I understand that sometimes the present moment feels too big or feels too hard and it’s easy to get stuck there. I understand that acceptance sometimes feels close to resignation. But with practice, you may find that acceptance actually gives you options.

The option to solve the problem.

The option to look at the problem from a different perspective. A new understanding, provides new opportunities.

The option to accept that maybe it’s not your problem to solve.

And what’s left at the end is the option to accept things as they are and to still be able to move forward.

Acceptance isn't the same thing as bliss so I won’t pretend that practicing acceptance is the same thing as happiness. But there is something powerful in the freedom that is attached to acceptance and in that freedom, you may find more of what you’re actually looking for.

If you’re looking for more information or resources on practicing acceptance, check out the work of Tara Brach. Here’s a link to a recording of one of her talks on acceptance.

https://www.tarabrach.com/genuine-acceptance-2/

With an accepting brave heart,